What's more important?

What's more important?

When you're in a relationship, often times your emotions, wants or needs conflict with your partner's.  Their personality may conflict with your (i.e. you may be assertive while they are more passive) and someone's feelings get slighted in the process.

We know about compromise but it's never that easy to put into practice.  If I compromise my position, will I always end up being the one to compromise?  Will I always have to put the needs, wants and emotions of another before my own?  Am I being selfish to talk about my own needs, wants and emotions?  Am I forgetting about compassion if I do?

I think these are all valid questions and there's no "right" or "wrong" answer.  What works best is what works best in your particular relationship. 

But asking the questions is as important, if not more important, than the answers themselves.  These questions get you to think about your actions, your reactions, your emotional well-being. 

To be a compassionate person, you must necessarily be compassionate with yourself.  I was raised to believe that this sort of "touchy, feely" stuff was ridiculous.  For a long time, I was unforgiving with myself, therefore, I had no forgiveness to extend to anyone else.  Now I know better.  Now I can be kind and compassionate with myself and therefore, benefit the people around me with kindness and compassion.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to figure out the answer to those questions but I'm really glad that today I know to ask them.