Week of September 6, 2009: What About Nadya Suleman?

Learn how to embrace the compassion within you. Strive for the expression of compassion in your life. Give your compassion to those who need it the most– the people you least care to extend it to.

What about Octo-Mom? Does she deserve compassion? Most of us think, no. She has been vilified by our society for how her “poor” choices have adversely affected the lives of her innocent, new born and toddler children. Nadya Suleman most certainly does not deserve our compassion. So we give her our anger and our hatred instead.

How can those kids possibly have a good life? She is a single parent, with limited income, and all those kids to take care of. She can’t provide for them so society bears the burden. She can’t give them her attention so they each will have to learn to live with less attention than a child ought to have. They have no father in their lives so they will grow up with all the issues that kids tend to have when they don’t have their father as a loving, caring parent in their lives. What a terrible situation. So, we see her in the street, filling up her van with gas, and scream at her while her children are in the car, waiting for mommy. We tell her what we think of her because that’s what she deserves! We judge her and condemn her and ridicule her.

Are those not reasons to extend compassion? Most of us are fortunate that our mistakes go unnoticed by the public eye. We glide below the radar and don’t have to face the mass judgment of society. Most of us just screw up from time to time. Sometimes our mistakes are big and cost us or others a lot of money, or hurt our children, or cause damage. Sometimes, we make little mistakes that don’t really matter in the scheme of things or they are lessons we learn from and go about our path of evolution. We’re lucky that Bill O’Reilly or Larry King don’t really care much about our mistakes.

And sometimes, we do something that we feel strongly passionate about and other people think, “Wow, what a mistake.” But we are convinced our actions are just, we are devoted to our path, we have conviction. We may face resistance, we may face adverse consequences, but we are strong in our faith that we are doing what we must. Luckily, just not in the public eye.

Compassion, like most other positive expressions of love, is something we extend or withhold depending on how we perceive another’s worthiness. But those who we perceive to be least worthy are those who need our compassion the most. Even Nadya Suleman.

I don’t know why kind of life her children, all 14 of them, are apt to live. But I do know that she has gone on t.v., in front of millions of viewers, and declared that although she does not have much to offer in terms of the luxuries of life, she loves her children and has no short supply of that. I did note that Nadya’s mom had no outpouring of love and support for her daughter in her daughter’s time of need. Nadya’s mom, who had but one child she raised, could not muster up kindness and compassion because her judgment was more pressing.

Did she have a tummy tuck, why did she fire the free nannies, is she jealous of Kate Gosslin? These are the pressing questions that we need answers for. Fundamentally, I ask, “Does Octomom have a right to live her life?” We all do.

So, I dare you to extend compassion to someone in your life that you are sure does not deserve your compassion. I double dare you to ask how you can help relieve their suffering. I guarantee that you will gain far more than you will be asked to give in this exercise.

I’m going to do it too. I’ll let you know how it turns out.