Joan Jett - Androgynous

I first heard about Joan Jett when I was a teenager.  I was about 12 or 13 and taking the morning bus to school and I saw a girl - she must have been a couple of years older who waited on the other side of the street.  She would get her coffee and walk around impatiently for her bus.  She had the most amazing jacket I ever saw - dungaree with a picture on the back - the cover of "Bad Reputation."

I think I probably had a crush on her although at the time, I did not let my curiosity get the better of me.  I was just enamored with her jacket.  I had to know more about it.  And know more about it I did.  I became an avid fan.

I can honestly say that Joan Jett helped me become the woman I am today even though I never met her.  Her music was always a constant in my teen and early adult years.  Her songs helped me through some tough times, helped me get to better know myself, and helped me find the courage to be the rebel that is me.

Today, I saw a video of "Androgynous" and it prompted an entire conversation in my mind.  Watch:



I was reminded of my rant about "Stand for Marriage Maine" and how they claimed homosexuals were after your children.  There was Joan Jett - sitting in front of a classroom full of children, singing about a boy in a skirt and a girl with chains.  Happy androgynous people who love each other.

Wow.  I realized how right she is.  How important it is to teach our children that there are all sorts of people in this world and we all want the same thing - to be happy.  We want love in our lives, to express ourselves, to love someone and to give our love.  Teaching children about people that are different is crucial to illuminating the fact that under our skin, in our hearts - we are all the same. 

As parents, we are entitled to teach our children what we will.  We instill our values, our code of morality, our world view.  Recognizing our differences gives children a wide array for analysis to determine where they fit in the continuum. 

As a forty-something year old gay woman, I have yet to meet another gay person whose parents were not heterosexual.  And I've met a lot of gay people.  Having parents of a particular orientation does not guarantee your child will or will not be gay.  What I think Joan Jett is saying here is, "Who cares as long as they are happy?"  I wholeheartedly agree!

Figuring it out - at least a little

Almost immediately after posting my thoughts for the week about letting go, life let me know at least one really big obstacle to my growth that I need to let go of. I guess asking the question was enough to prompt a response and of course, I'm sitting here wondering why that? Why not something easier?

Week of November 22, 2009: After Seven Years

It's been seven years since James died. I've learned a lot about myself and about how to continue living when you've lost your future, your hope, your will to go on. As I've said before, it's my desire to continue to make James proud of me that leads me to live a life of courage and perseverance. Without the belief that James is still watching, still wanting me to be the mother he knew, I would not be here today.

But still, there are aspects of grief that I am still learning about. There is a huge lesson that I'm struggling with today and a challenge I've not overcome. That lesson is - letting go. I don't know how to but I know that I have not done so yet. I know this because life, and James, have given me indication that I'm still clutching onto something that I refuse to let go of.

I'm not really sure what that is. On an intellectual level, I think that I've processed his death and the reality of it. Surely what I must let go of is on an emotional level. But I still don't understand what it is that I must let go of.

This is a unique avenue to process my thoughts and emotions - a somewhat public way to grieve. I'm normally an extremely private person and I'm certainly far from large scale exposure on the internet. But putting my experience out there gives me some comfort that I'm taking steps to reach out, not only to help others but to learn and grow in the process.

I have to let go. This I know. But what must I let go of? What am I holding onto? What am I refusing to see? What won't my heart look at? What is my heart grasping onto? I've cried a river of tears. I've shed so much pain and agony of loss through my tears. Even today, I sat and pulled out every picture I have of James - from his birth to his death and all ages in between. Reflecting on those moments and others we shared. He had the biggest, brightest smile in so many of those pictures. And I cried.

But I still don't know what I'm supposed to let go of. I've done a lot of letting go in my life. I've let go of anger, resentment, bitterness. It's not as though I don't know how to let go. I've recognized those things inside which have held me back and understood the necessity of letting them go. But here, I am baffled - sincerely baffled.

I'm certain since I am asking these questions that the answer will come. When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

7 Years Today

Today marks the 7th anniversary of the day James' Spirit was released from his body.  It's always a difficult time for me, the days leading up to and especially the day of this particular day.

7 years ago today I was touching his cold body, in shock, thinking this can't be. 

7 years ago today I was feeling the finality, the irreversibility of what just transpired.

7 years ago today the ground beneath my feet crumbled and my mind sat quiet, digesting that I would never hear his voice again.

I begged God to change it, fix it, make it some crazy nightmare that didn't really happen.  In the years since, like others who have had this same devastation in their lives, I've picked up the pieces and wake up each day trying to figure out what my life means without James.

I hold onto hope because I have to.  I hold onto the future because I must live each day in the spirit of what James would want for me and I know he certainly would never want his life to stand for the destruction of my own.  I know he wants for me to find beauty in the world and know peace in my heart because that's who James was as a person.

But still, my heart is broken. 

Health Care Reform - Necessary or Evil?

I've been doing a little reading today about the new Health Care Reform bill proposed legislation.  Wow.  Some people are outraged at the idea of this reform.  I'm perplexed to understand why it is fueling a rage in some people.

I often listen to extremist radio personalities - just to see what they are spouting.  Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Michael Savage - those sorts.  I have heard their claims that under this new health care reform, people who could not afford health care coverage would be arrested.  And they are serious.  What's most scary is that there are many people who believe them!

Some one told me today that they "skimmed" the entire 2,000 page text and claim now they know what the health care reform bill is all about.  Okay, this is not a joke.  This is scary!

I read a comment posted by someone who was infuriated with this socialism and that there is no constitutional guarantee for healthcare.

This debate would be interesting but the reality is, there are so many Americans who get their "news" from extremist radio personalities who claim to use reason and logic and fact to illustrate how detrimental to the American people health care reform is.

Week of November 15, 2009: Tolerance

On November 3, 2009, the people of the State of Maine voted to reject legislation passed in May that would allow same gender couples to marry.  The so-called "Stand For Marriage Maine" movement campaigned against this legislation and now contends that the majority has spoken and that this is the "will" of the people - in a misguided attempt at protecting the "sanctity" of marriage.

What I witnessed was not a display of the will of the people of Maine.  It was a campaigned heavily funded and influenced by people who reside in other parts of the country, masterminds really, of marketing that preyed upon the fears of Mainers across the state.

During one of the most popular prime time shows in the country, "Dancing With the Stars," this coalition purchased advertisement airtime to run commercials which depicted homosexuals as a forceful crowd salivating to get their hands on the children of Maine to impose the homosexual agenda of teaching children about same sex marriage.  In fact, they went so far as to allege homosexuals were already being paid to teach homosexuality to children in Maine schools.

The vote was extremely close and the "majority" was a few vote points away from defeat.  Stand for Marriage Maine claims, "Marriage is a pillar of society and should be protected from distortion by politicians and homosexual marriage activists who want to redefine it to suit their objectives."  My objective ladies and gentleman, is to secure the same rights as a citizen of the United States that others enjoy.

They claim on their website's blog that, "In clear and concise terms, we presented the facts for all Mainers to
consider before casting their ballot. Our campaign was one based on truth..."

The truth is, they did not rely on the truth.  I saw the ads they ran on t.v. and the internet.  I heard their radio ads.  This was not truth by any means.  The truth of opposing rights for a minority group and disguising it as morality has been practiced before in this country against other minorities.

The truth is, that more and more people are realizing us gay folk are just like everyone else.  We have families, we have feelings, we have hopes and we have dreams.  We want freedom, we want love, we want better for our children.

Understand that gay rights are not "special" rights.  The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed all in our great nation.  Seeking to pursue happiness is not a crime when the object of your happiness is of the same gender as you.  The right to liberty does not cease because of your emotional and physical connection is most gratified by someone of the same gender.  The gay "agenda" is to ensure that our rights are not diminished.

Our "agenda" is to ensure that hate crimes against us are punished, not condoned.  Our "agenda" is to live with the same protections afforded other citizens.  Our "agenda" is to raise our children and to leave you to the responsibility of raising yours.

Learn from Jesus who embraced the lepers and prostitutes without judgment.  Judgment is what allows one to
dehumanize another human being.  Judgment gives one a sense of permission to hate and even seek to do harm to others.  Judgment allows homophobic people to think that homosexuals do not have the right to live.  Judgment is the evil which condones hate crimes.  Do away with your judgments.

Love thy neighbor (even if they are gay).  God commanded that we love our neighbor without qualifiers.

Give your time, attention, and energy to your own family and friends.  Spend your energy engrossed in sharing the love you feel in your heart for those around you - that matter to you.  In the last five minutes of your life, what you will reflect on and feel is most important are those times you shared love and joy with your family.  Don't waste your time with anger and hate.  You will regret it when you realize how much of your spent on wasted emotions.

Compassionate Business

The Mobility Advocate™ is proud to support the compassionate and humanitarian efforts of Kids First Enterprise and Forward Mobility by offering their products nationally in the U.S.  And what's more, taking its cue from these great humanitarian companies, The Mobility Advocate™ has pledged to donate 5% of all sales to organizations that support the wounded veterans of our great country such as the Wounded Warrior Project, Any Soldier, and the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America.
 
The Mobility Advocate™ will also donate an Innovator Ultra Light Wheelchair© for each 10 Innovators sold in a commitment to letting our troops know that their service and sacrifice for our freedom is appreciated.

Now that's a compassionate business.

Week of November 8 2009 - Can You Ever Really Save Someone From Themselves?

Is it possible to save another who is trapped by their own thinking?  When we view the reality of life, the world around us, people, places, news, events, our lives, we are viewing the world and each moment of our lives through a lens carefully crafted by our experiences - most of which were shaped and formed before we had the cognizant ability to critically think about the impact on our psyche.

One major unseen force that shapes our thinking is the family heirarchy under which we live for a crucial part of our development - those so called "formative years."  During this time, we are educated on a world view adopted by those authority figures around us who instill in us, through actions and behviors as well as their words, on what to expect, what to believe, how to think. 

On a rare occasion, there is someone who rejects these teachings who, on a primordial level, knows that the flaw in such handing down of values is the elimination of free will, of independent thinking, of ascertaining for oneself the meaning of life and the reality around them.  This person is usually known as the black sheep - the trouble maker.  Opposing the doctrine is a punishable offense yet that basic instinct remains. 

So when we grow up and make our own way in this life, we believe in our values and principles, we claim our
independent morals and proceed to do our best with the circumstances we face. 

In the course of my life, I have learned certain valuable lessons which I wish to share with the world and in
particular, with my loved ones.  These lessons give me inspriration, hope, joy for life, and renew me with energy to speak candidly and openly about my experiences.  I understand that my perception is flawed.  I can believe with every fiber of my being in the "reality" I see before me but my perception can deceive me with the trickery of an influence long gone from my life - the lessons I learned in my formative years.  So I seek to establish a better understanding of how I've been influenced and know that it is a lifelong battle that will never really be "won."  But that doesn't stop me from seeking to better understand myself and how I think and why I think the way I think.

That has been my journey and will continue to be.

But that lesson is my lesson.  And try as I might, I cannot convince the people I most want to convince that this is a truth of life.  Still today, no matter what your age, you are influenced.  Still today, no matter how much work you've done to tackle these demons, you are influenced.  Still today, no matter how old you are, you are influenced.

The answer is, you cannot save someone from themselves.  Each of us has a path to walk and no amount of
compassion can change another's thinking.  At least that's my answer for today.  Tomorrow's lessons may bring a greater understanding and teach me how to communicate in a far better way so that my words have the impact that they lack today.

Forward Mobility Still Needs Your Help! The voting continues

The voting continues for Newpreneur of the Year.  Forward Mobility still needs your votes!

The Herald in Snohomish County Washington published a story on Forward Mobility.  Read more of their compelling story here.

Help Forward Mobility continue to help those less fortunate by voting!  This little known company is up against some major internet players so the more people we can get to vote, the better their chance of success!

Vote here.

Thank you all for your support!