Week of November 8 2009 - Can You Ever Really Save Someone From Themselves?

Is it possible to save another who is trapped by their own thinking?  When we view the reality of life, the world around us, people, places, news, events, our lives, we are viewing the world and each moment of our lives through a lens carefully crafted by our experiences - most of which were shaped and formed before we had the cognizant ability to critically think about the impact on our psyche.

One major unseen force that shapes our thinking is the family heirarchy under which we live for a crucial part of our development - those so called "formative years."  During this time, we are educated on a world view adopted by those authority figures around us who instill in us, through actions and behviors as well as their words, on what to expect, what to believe, how to think. 

On a rare occasion, there is someone who rejects these teachings who, on a primordial level, knows that the flaw in such handing down of values is the elimination of free will, of independent thinking, of ascertaining for oneself the meaning of life and the reality around them.  This person is usually known as the black sheep - the trouble maker.  Opposing the doctrine is a punishable offense yet that basic instinct remains. 

So when we grow up and make our own way in this life, we believe in our values and principles, we claim our
independent morals and proceed to do our best with the circumstances we face. 

In the course of my life, I have learned certain valuable lessons which I wish to share with the world and in
particular, with my loved ones.  These lessons give me inspriration, hope, joy for life, and renew me with energy to speak candidly and openly about my experiences.  I understand that my perception is flawed.  I can believe with every fiber of my being in the "reality" I see before me but my perception can deceive me with the trickery of an influence long gone from my life - the lessons I learned in my formative years.  So I seek to establish a better understanding of how I've been influenced and know that it is a lifelong battle that will never really be "won."  But that doesn't stop me from seeking to better understand myself and how I think and why I think the way I think.

That has been my journey and will continue to be.

But that lesson is my lesson.  And try as I might, I cannot convince the people I most want to convince that this is a truth of life.  Still today, no matter what your age, you are influenced.  Still today, no matter how much work you've done to tackle these demons, you are influenced.  Still today, no matter how old you are, you are influenced.

The answer is, you cannot save someone from themselves.  Each of us has a path to walk and no amount of
compassion can change another's thinking.  At least that's my answer for today.  Tomorrow's lessons may bring a greater understanding and teach me how to communicate in a far better way so that my words have the impact that they lack today.