Opinion or Judgment?

I had an interesting discussion with several people recently. Most people I've talked to about this seem to think that we all are judgmental beings. We all have judgments about things, people, places. We cannot escape our own human nature.

Well, I disagree.

My friend laughed yesterday and said, "You cannot make up your own definition." So I inquired, why not? Why can't I? She responded, "because no one else will understand your meaning."



Well, I don't accept that. I don't agree that we are all judgmental.

As I've discussed previously, judgment can be harsh. It can be devastating, it can destroy people's lives. But it can also be subtle. Judgment plays a significant role in our morality, our ethical standpoint. It is the ruler by which we measure what is appropriate and what is not. Anything taken to an extreme throws your life out of balance. There are those who would argue with that statement, such as adventure junkies who do extreme sports. That's a discussion for another time but I do stand by my statement.

Judgment is the notion of "should" or "should not." Example: Nadya Suleman should not have had the IVF procedure that lead to her having octuplets. I am outraged at this woman. Judgment is the notion of "must" and "must not." Example: "I must be acquiescent so that others will like me." I am afraid to be myself because then others won't like me. "Have to" and "can't" are other judgment indicators. These judgmental thoughts lead to emotional responses and reactions.


Opinion, while perhaps at times can sound like judgment, is very different. Opinion is how we perceive things, people and places. Opinion is a like or dislike. Opinion is an emotional reaction which can lead to judgment. Example: I feel bad for Nadya Suleman's children. I think they are doomed to have a bad life because of her decisions. Therefore, she should not have made the decision to have the IVF procedure that lead to her having octuplets. Another example: I'm anxious for people to like me. I think that people who are agreeable are always well liked by others. Therefore, I must be acquiescent so that others will like me.

We all have opinions. That I will agree with. We all have unique perspective which gives us the ability to process external events through our internal mechanisms. Our opinions add color and shape to the world around us. Our opinions define us.

Judgment obstructs compassion. We don't have to judge. It is not necessary to our survival. The next time you hear yourself making a judgment, ask yourself, "Why?"

Compassion needs air to breathe. It needs fields to roam and toys to play with. Judgment constricts the air around it. Give your compassion the space, air and time it deserves.